Steve Gooch - Playwright Dramatist Author Writer Editor

Fast One: Script Excerpt

'A merchant seaman heads off with his favourite barmaid for South America, and is drawn into revolution and gun-running. One of our most trenchant playwrights.' - Malcolm Hay, Time Out

Fast One by Steve Gooch

Paco: You are back! Any luck?

Andy: I told you, the deal fell through. They ain't got nothin'.

Paco: This is not what you told me before.

Andy: Things've changed.

Paco: You are not a man of your word?

Andy: There's nothing I can do, Paco.

Paco: Our people are starving. Disease is everywhere.

Andy: I'm doin' me best. I've brought in olive oil, cocunuts, aspirin -- at least I think they were aspirin ...

Paco: For Alessandro?

Andy: Yes.

Paco: His people are not our people.

Andy: You all live in the same country, don't you?

Paco: Why you deal with him, not us?

Andy: I can get what he wants, that's why. He even tells me the suppliers. Your, er, commodity I can't lay hands on right now.

Paco: You don't care about our people.

Andy: Of course I do. I buy your lottery tickets, don't I?

Paco: These crates you unload today, what are?

Andy: I don't know.

Paco: You carry and you don't know?

Andy: I'm not mechanical, Paco. I don't know a piston from a crankshaft.

Paco: You run a boat.

Andy: The engineer came provided.

Paco: You spend all day with him!

Andy: Paco, the only English he understands is left, right, up, down, on, off an' Mind Your Head ...

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